Finding our true purpose in life isn’t black or white. It’s not something where we can just wake up one day and know that our purpose. Despite, if it takes anything to solve this mystery it takes finding that inner ground to establish your reason for doing. Lets take for example a map and it can be a map of any locational region of your choice. You’re at point ‘a’ but you know that destiny wants you to get to point ‘b’. Intuitively, something is calling you to move but ultimately your reason or your ‘why’ seems to be misaligned with the potential of the decision. This is where the importance of your profound why comes in.
As I’m writing this post, my aim is share how finding your why can create a means for motivation or at least add to that inner foundation for lifetime reasoning. Last night, I was listening to one of Dr. Eric Thomas’s “It’s your time!” speech in which was insightfully engaging. Here’s a statement said by Dr. Thomas that captured my attention; “It’s time to shift your values for who your doing these things for because when you shift your values, then you’ll have a reason to get up in the morning!” Moved by his words and his motivation, this had me thinking and in search for my who and why which led me to this morning. Right after my meditation, I decided to dive deep in seek to find my ‘why’ and here’s how I did it and what happened.
I asked myself those specific who? and why? questions and wrote down my answers. As a resulte, what I came across upon the realisation created a ripple in my thought and emotional mind. I am a motivational speaker for those who need hope and words of encouragement to keep going during the tough times and challenges that life tend to throw at us from time to time. But why? Well because if I had given up when I was abandoned on Skid Row then more than likely I wouldn’t be here sharing my story, impacting lives, or uplifting those today (nor will I be here writing this blog to help motivate you). And after this realisation, it was this physical feeling of coming to far to only quit now which gave me means to keep going as life has something special in store later on down the line.
If you didn’t quit back then, why quit now? (And we’re talking about a positive life challenges here) I speak about things that tend to get the best of us or place us in dark places where we sometimes seem to get lost or loose the essential being of who we are on the inside because hope is essential everywhere and in everyone. Our journeys are filled with ups and downs and sometimes when we’re in the downs, we tend to give up or either loose hope or sight of the bigger picture.
My words of encouragement are “Don’t loose sight of your ‘who’ and ‘why’ because they may be the only things that may keep you going… So find it!”
Think well to live well… 🙂
The personal battle!
Through watching sports, we think that athletes don’t seem to struggle. They’re in the spotlight and so we think that they have it easy. They have all the resources, all the networks, publicity, wages and a support system that not to be many are blessed to be a part of.
Here’s the dialect and perceptions that seem to circulate when looking at an athlete and personal lives: “Ahhh they’re athletes so they’ll be fine…” or “They’re tough and can withstand anything that comes their way because that’s what their sport does for them…” or “They should learn resilience through their sport because of the experiences that they’re being put through…” And although this all seems well and sounds nice in the limelight, we often times as an audience and society forget that these performing athletes are also human beings. See, nobody truly knows what goes on behind the scenes and what some of the personalised journeys and battles they may consist of.
Each one of us maybe going through one of three things: Going into a battle, going through one or may just be coming out of one. Just because someone seems to be doing well in the spotlight doesn’t mean that they maybe doing well behind the scenes.
One of my toughest battles came when I was at in university and because I perceived things to not be going so well, it began the process of negative thinking. I was entering my last year of university and with all the hopes in the world to have a better year than the one before, the positivity was shot out of the window as the season started to progress. To make a long story short, experiencing the realisation that my year was going to be the same (if not worse) than the year before left me stuck or left me at a blank page.
It was a tough pill to swallow and it took a lot away from me. It was such a tough pill that it became difficult within staying positive and trying to have a positive mood but it’s like everytime I tried to be positive regardless of what was going on, I still found myself in the negative frame of thinking even by the end of it. Unfortunately, I didn’t know what to do with my experience so it’s almost as though my experience had been taking me for a loop that was out of my control. And given the fact that I was on a scholarship to play collegiate basketball, I wasn’t able to just get up and move somewhere else so from the early part of the season all the way to the end, this energy got me to a point where I felt like a lost soul on this earth. But there is hope…
How did overcoming this come about?
There was a psychologist that I had met towards the end of my senior year and I decided to have a meeting with him to discuss what was on my mind. I had started to talk and before I knew it, all my emotions poured out of me like an endless river. However… He had given me some words that really was stated at the perfect time for everything that I was feeling. He said, “Dan… You’ve came along way and for what you have accomplished thus far, not too many people would’ve overcame that. And for where you are now, I am proud of you!…”
Guessing at the time, that inner child was just seeking words that his father could’ve given to him. Moral of the story… For all fathers out there, be proud for yourself and also for those around you especially family and kids because it does make a difference to the child’s wellbeing and self-esteem which then may lead to positive thinking. Be out there engaged in your child’s life and let them know that you are supportive of their life because you never know when they’re going to need your presence.
Think well to live well… 🙂
Fear is an emotion buried so deep within that if not put into perspective, it may take us on an uncomfortable journey. These feelings come from lack of bravery, confidence, not enough vision, lack of decisions and so forth. In addition,
They also come when we’re exploring change or something new, trying to get rid of old ways to open up to the new or even move from one space to another. And as a result, it may keep us at bay or at a level of resistance towards progression. What’s more interesting is how fear affects us in all given areas and how we sometimes choose to respond to that emotion from the bottom of our ‘being’. But today, I’m going to give you 3 tips as to how to deal accompany fear:
If you find a level or bravery, you’ll be more suited to face whatever fear you’re experiencing head on rather that running from it. We can only run away for so long until what we are running from catches up to us.
You are a valuable human being and it is your birthright to go after what is in your heart. Whatever you tell yourself or is going on in that inner dialogue of yours is the difference between staying at a standstill and taking action.
The outcome has to be clear and this may take some time spending it with you. When you envision the outcome, what do you see? What do you feel? Do you feel your energy there? If so, do you believe that this vision can become true? If all of the above feels positive then your already half way there. Just keep going!
How we choose can either be one of two ways; either we stop ourselves from moving or we use fear as a driving force to push through the boundary.
Which one is it?
Think well to live well…. 🙂
Stranger: “Have you been grinding?”
Me: “I haven’t stopped grinding since 1992…”
If you’re on the grind, appreciate the process because the outcome and the reward is going to be so much sweeter!
Think well to live well… 🙂
“Come up with a goal and go for it!”
The best thing you can do is to give yourself a sense of direction by giving yourself something to aim for. At least if you create it and write it down then you have no choice but to come up with a strategy or plan and commit to it. And to say the least, even if you come up short, its what you learned and gained during the adventure towards the desired outcome. Did you gain confidence? Did you experience happiness? Did challenge your own creative inner self?
-That’s just from the power of creating a goal.
Think well to live well… 🙂
Stranger: “Are you a basketball player?”
Me: “There’s a difference between a basketball player and playing basketball. If I stop playing basketball then who and what am I?”
Just because I’m tall and dark skinned doe not mean I’m just a basketball player.
Point: Never allow others to associate what you do to ‘make’ a living with who and what you are on the inside because deep down, you’re bigger than that!
Think well to live well… 🙂
It’s true that not everyday is going to be clear and sunny. It’s true that not everyday will be filled with positive experiences. It’s true that we’re not going to win each moment as though we deserve it especially when we know we’re worthy of the opportunity. It’s true that life doesn’t always have our back just as much as we want it to. Sometimes it’s true that the people that we want in our lives are not always going to be there. It’s also true that areas of our lives will punch us so hard that we will struggle to withstand the impact. So where does all of this us to? Well after a while, one experience after another, after another and after another can place us in a position of giving up where at that point questions, realities and emotions are going to have to be faced.
In today’s world, we find that giving up seems to be the easier option but then again it depends on what experience is. Take for example someone giving up on a certain way of thinking. When we thinking of giving up on a certain way of thinking, are we giving up for a better sound mind or giving up because of habit and avoidance? Sometimes our thoughts can lead us in one of two ways. If we’re thinking from a place that doesn’t give us much reward or benefit but are willing to give up that way of thinking so new information can come in then that’s a positive outlook. However, the opposite is where we find most of ourselves on a daily basis. We find it hard to rewire our thinking because we’ve set ourselves so deep in our beliefs that trying to reconstruct it seems like a hefty task. The best question to ask is whether or not has the way you’ve always thought and acted brought you the results that you’ve always been looking for? And has the way you’ve always thought kept you where you are? I guess it depends on what you’re giving for and on.
Lets take another example: giving up on opportunity. Are we giving up to make room for the new and allow our life to manifest what we truly desire in our hearts? Or to just sit on a sofa to watch opportunities go by? Personally I am a firm believer in finding your passion, your love, your personal ‘excitement’ and what you enjoy doing not just in work but in the personal life aspect as well. Those are things that keep us electrified and determined to keep going. That’s something that we wouldn’t want to give up on! Understandable that sometimes we want an opportunity so bad that when we don’t get that opportunity that we feel as though the opportunity didn’t see the value in us which now leads us to questioning our worth. Now here are the challenges:
The only thing that you need to know here is that you are valuable and most importantly, you are an asset that opportunity will come running to you.
Now giving up on ourselves… This is the biggest challenge of them all! I always say that its one thing to give up on something that’s pulling something away from you like your happiness or joy but another thing to give up on yourself. This is where we’ve just introduced ourselves to self-destructive feelings, thoughts and actions. When we think of giving up on ourselves, we’ve let our inner self down so much that we get to a point of self-suppression. You keep yourself down and just allow the emotional mind to take over. We sometimes tend to act out because of a series of bad experiences that consisted of disappointment, pain, anger and anything else that we think of. These are signs of the low-self making it hard to try and become uplifted because we’re holding onto emotions that don’t serve us any purpose. We’re not meant to let it sit and manifest to destroy us. In fact, my message here and advise here is to take what you’re feeling and turn it into something powerful! Now that’s what you’re meant to do with it. Take that energy and create something amazing with it.
Given the fact that each one is a bit different because they each entail a different experience filled with different emotions and thoughts, the principles and the baseline is still the same. Giving up on ourselves denies us from anything that we truly deserve to be deemed as positive. We suppress everything of what we know only to suffer but yet we know deep down giving up is not an option. See if I had given up a long time ago, I wouldn’t be here right now and so I know if I can do it and continue to keep on going no matter what, you can too!
Think well to live well… 🙂